FUNNY HUNNY

In  addition to my mother being talented and pretty, she is also a very funny person.  In this week long Mother's Day tribute to her, this will probably be her favorite and IF she were to read it (she's pretty busy) she would send me more examples of her humor to include.

Some of what you are about to read will really expose her, but she won't mind.  She is very comfortable with who she is and would even tell you these things herself with a more spirited version than could ever be written.

Sort of at the start:

She skipped 2nd grade because she was so smart.

She was an airline stewardess for Central and engaged to marry a Baptist pastor.  She was about to get on a  flight to Kansas City and a man (my dad to be) came up to her and said, "Hey baby let's get married", so they did and they had 3 kids.  She left him when everything they had was repossessed. (her version)

here she is wishing for 5 kids

Before, I said having 5 children was only one of the phases she went through in life.  She married my other Dad and had 2 more children.  He adopted us and I never saw my real dad again.  I think he might have been a gambler.

I think 5 kids kind of snuck up on her and at some point when I was about a 2nd grader she thought she needed a "rest", so she checked herself into a mental hospital where she thought that R&R might happen.  Except,  in "Beautiful Mind" fashion, she received daily shock treatments.  She had NOT planned on that and now attributes this to not being able to remember our birthdays.  Each year she gives us a calendar with the entire families' birthdays on it, (and contact information).  This is one of her most popular items on her eBay store(s) and often, we are the recipient of her  "samples".  My poor brothers got white boxers for Christmas one year with their photo copied on them.  Come to think of it...maybe that was more a pleasant gift for their wives.

She spent some of her life being vain.  This is when she really started looking out for that Indian complexion of hers.  To ward off forehead wrinkles she would wear scotch tape to keep from frowning...sort of like an outward botox.  She finally succumbed to a real facelift and today will tell you that when her eyebrows itch she has to scratch the top of her head.

She used to go to market to both buy and sell.  One time she and her bff got a little tooted and when they came out they couldn't find their car in the parking lot and had to stay over.  Obviously she still needed a rest from her 5 children but no way on more shock treatments...oh wait...maybe that's why she forgot where she parked her car!

A bit after this she checked herself into vacation time rehab for alcoholism.  I think she drank for a total of 4 years in her life and has not had a drop in the last 20+.  I told her the other day she was not an alcoholic, she can now consider herself a person who does not drink.  She was more fun when she did...that's when my sisters and I would join her for happy hour and get her to give us her jewelry.  She pronounces it  "jury" for fun.

Now she has 13 grandchildren and she was only 38 when the first one was born.  She did not want to be a mother grandmother so we call her Honey.

She really only cooks cornbread and beans and on special occasions, like Thanksgiving, she will pitch the teepee and we will have a weenie roast and I am not  kidding.

This is where we take all those family photos that end up on clothing and calendars--as her samples.  It cracks me up, the look on all the kid's faces at Christmas when they get those gifts.  I tell them..."someday those will be your most precious memories of her."

As far as the falsie section?  She has added her teeth...straight and white but with less care.  She also uses her efferdent to clean her "jury".

In closing, Elizabeth Charlene Benton Elsey Bulls Dodson Many Feathers has gone from miserably married to Clay "Tex" Dodson...character in his own right,( lawyer, ex-assistant DA, AA certified gambler, Civil War re-inactor, and potter) to being happily divorced living in sin with him.  He has been taking pottery classes at the college since I have known him and is quite talented.  He more than makes up for the  Christmas present samples, as we get his handsome pottery each year..unless they are estranged, which happens from time to time.

They liked each other on this day

"Tex", Many Feathers, "Hunnicutt"

**note teepee

Tex is the inventor of the Sweety Pie Bowl. It came about by accident but as you can see has a very desirable shape.
It also created my famous phrase to my art students
"There are no mistakes in art"

In case you can't tell....I love my mother so stinkin' much and what I love the most is how she has managed to work in so many quirks and quips that I could really care less whether she taught me to sew or washed my PE clothes on Monday morning at 8 am, or knows that I have 3 children....

I really really really honor her...

because she is my example of  

A REAL BEAUTY 

A Virtuous Woman is a woman of worth and beauty. She has the inner beauty that only comes from Christ. She uses her creativity and sense of style to create beauty in her life and the lives of her loved ones. (Proverbs 31: 10Proverbs 31: 21 – 22, Proverbs 31: 24 -25, Isaiah 61: 10, 1 Timothy 2: 9, 1 Peter 3: 1 – 6)