Tuesday, March 17, 2009


Well poop
I’m pretty sure I placed fifth in the HGTV home giveaway. That prize includes:
1. winner winner chicken dinner2. watching, live, from Florida….the person who won first3. and playing shopping at home game…see below
The economic climate looms over us all. I think for the most part, our country has enjoyed a plentiful season over the past years and the thought of an uncertain future is scary.
When I get a little blue and think I don’t have enough, there is a thing I do called “shopping at my house.” It goes something like this. Find your beginning point and work your way around the room you have selected and pretend you could have anything in the room you want as if you don’t.
Example: My purple living room.
I begin at the front door where Brian with his own two hands removed the partitions so that our friends could linger with their good-byes more comfortably. On to the antique china cabinet that I bought about 25 years ago for next to nothing in Guymon, Oklahoma--inside it are six lidded pumpkin bowls that I like to serve the first soup of the fall—my purple 100 year old rocker--next three large picture windows where I can see my great big pine tree sway in the wind--that now have quite a few little baby handprints where someone is waiting for someone to drive into the driveway-- one very large carved wooden angel Brian bought me for my birthday—my blue Herend rabbits with the droopy ears..one big one, two middle ones and one baby one--the chair that I bought from Coretta Ralston and had recovered in cheetah linen--an oil on canvas called “The Director’s Chair” that was given to me by my friend Debbie Hagerman because I told her I liked it—a large pedestal that we bought at an auction for a dollar that has a vase of flowers in front of a mirror--my large, cushy, ruby red lipstick couch!!!!--the small spot on my border that was left by what I thought was a very large miller that turned out to be a bat that Trent took to show and tell--the grandfather clock that will someday belong to Charles--the glass curio cabinet my mother bought Grace when she was born currently filled with our collection of sextants, compasses, and kaleidoscopes--the large wooden giraffe Brian traded for soap while he was in Africa—a picture of leaves from our trip to New England to celebrate our five years of marriage--the water color painted by Koko the Gorilla that looks like a pink heart that was my gift to Brian one Valentine Day--my cello resting on his piano. And probably my favorite thing of all…the paint by number picture of Brian and me that I cut in half one sad day. If you look closely, you can see barely see the gray tape on the backside holding it together. We all know how strong that gray tape is.
So you get the idea…don’t spend your time sitting and wishing and hoping for things and stuff. Go on a journey around your own house and take a moment to remember how much you wanted all the stuff you already have before you got it. It’s a big fat lie that you can have it all, but it’s a big fat truth that you can have a lot!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


If I could find you Mr. Smarty Pants, you wouldn’t feel so smart when I got through with you.
You have messed around where you shouldn’t be messing…in my computer and I imagine from some place very far away..maybe India.
It took me a week or so to realize it was you. At first I thought I just had a sniffle from all the forwards and surveys about “me in one word” my peep Paula sends me all the time. And then strange things began to happen. A different look on my monitor. My documents disappearing while I was gone to town. My whole system shutting down. Why, there was even one day that my TV channel changed by itself. Did you do that too?
I just want you to know that what goes around comes around Mr. SP. Believe me…if I know anything I know that! And I may not be the one to give you what you have coming, life’s not fair that way…but someone will.
You might have a flat tire in the snow and no one will stop…or a mouse poop in your green curry chicken….or someone might get your credit card number from your dumpster and when you go to pay for that sexy pleather jacket, you will be declined in front of a long line of cute girls...or you may be doing the SNL walk all over the mall and be so sure everyone is looking at you because you're so cute and check yourself in the mirror only to find the reason they are looking is because one lense is out of your cool sunglasses. Count on it. You will live the frustration you have given me. And I’m ok that I don’t get to see it because I know it will happen.
I sit here smug as a bug in a rug at my newly secured PC and smile thinking about how you will get what you got coming Mr. Smarty Pants.