Saturday, August 3, 2013


by Christina Georgina Rossetti (1830-1894) 

 When I am dead, my dearest, Sing no sad songs for me; 
Plant thou no roses at my head, 
 Nor shady cypress tree: 
Be the green grass above me With showers and dewdrops wet; 
 And if thou wilt, remember, And if thou wilt, forget. 
 I shall not see the shadows, I shall not feel the rain; 
 I shall not hear the nightingale 
 Sing on, as if in pain: 
 And dreaming through the twilight That doth not rise nor set, 
 Haply I may remember, And haply may forget.

When I was in 9th grade, we lost a school chum the day before we were to sing this song for our choir our surprise, our director turned to the crowd and dedicated our song to his memory.  This was my first time to experience death that I remember.

I had not intended to write about these past few days where I've been, 
but after attending the funeral mass for

I wanted to share the message of his life and death

He was our daughter's business partner in the wind energy company--together they have spent the last two years procuring land for the new wind farm in Hansford County Texas

his wife is one of our daughter's dearest friends
Her mother is one of my dearest friends
their daughter is one of our granddaughter's best chums

A perspective of life and death through three generation's hearts and eyes
Why him?
Why not him?
Where the heck is he now?
young children who yet don't understand the tragedy and loss
the young women who believe they can become stronger having lived with tragedy
the heart of mothers who can barely hold up the burden to see your child in such pain

"a mother is only as happy as her saddest child"

His death was made elegant and romantic and something I will never forget for two reasons--
when they found his body in the pasture after the accident and having searched for him all night
she laid down beside him until they came to take him last time on her 100 year old ranch,
where they married,
where they lived with their four young children
and where he was buried...beneath the windmill he built a few summers ago.

At his mass, she stood at the front of the church and wept--she told her 
four children..."look at me"
and then began to tell each one of them how much they meant to their daddy and why
and that his life was simple really
"be who you are and do what God tells you to do"
and then she addressed all in the church telling them
"thank you"
for letting her take this time to claim how proud she was to be his wife and mother to his children
and to give us all a charge to help her family go on in strength with our friendship and love

truly unforgettable and one of the most honorable deaths
I have ever had the pleasure to be a part of

Rest in Peace Justin
your family is in very good hands

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