Wednesday, March 31, 2010


# 87 See Tiger Woods

I’ve not long been a golf fan, in fact for many years I had an aversion to it before realizing that indeed a girl could golf. When I tried to invite myself to the golf course where my ex-husband lived and breathed, he told me that girls didn’t golf. In fact that golf is an acronym that means gentlemen only ladies forbidden.

Later when I got myself a new husband, a regular golf date, and some new clubs; I also worked in a liking to watching tournaments on TV. But way before this happened, you didn’t have to be involved in golf to know about Tiger Woods.

Somehow, this boy turned man was just plain magic. Anyone can see that. There is something mystical and undefinable about him that would filtrate through whatever game he might be playing, whether chess or golf. It didn’t take me long to realize that he simply must be on my life list.

Now, I have the original list of 100 Things I Want To Do and then there’s the updated version. In fact, I have three lists. The original, the updated, and the list of things I have already done that I didn’t know I wanted to do where I write them and highlight them all at the same time. This is why my list of 100 things has grown into 100+ Things I Want To Do.

Where was I ? Oh yeah…. # 87 See Tiger Woods

A long and worthy pursuit.

Regular golf dates. Cute new golf shoes. New golf Clubs. Old golf friends. Golf trips. Golf Trip Plans….girls included. My friend and regular golf partner Khristi and I decided we would get a collective Christmas present for our guys and scramble partners. Tickets to the PGA in Tulsa, Oklahoma. A place near enough and in advance enough that we could finagle. We made the gift spirited by giving them clues for 12 days of Christmas in the form of Wheel of Fortune, prizes included. I think the puzzle was "Tickets to the Professional Golf Association Tournament in Tulsa Oklahoma on August 11, 2007". Impossible to guess in 12 days, but yes…Brian guessed it in two. To this day, Khristi believes I told Brian the answer. I swear! Khristi, I did NOT tell him. A little kink came into my plan to see Tiger Woods when we found out Grace was pregnant and her due date was August 11. To make a long story short…it all worked out and we were soon on our way to Tulsa, Oklahoma….oh my gosh # 87…here I come!

After five hours, 2 six-packs, good road music, 1 warning ticket and 1 real one, we arrived at the Piney Woods Country Club, Tulsa, Oklahoma. The tournament would be a live broadcast and all the chatter was about the sweltering August heat and predictions of 100+ temperature and humidity.

Khristi and I spent the first day getting our toes done, eating, and shopping as would any devoted golf fan, letting the guys have their time to be serious. In fact, we watched the tournament on TV in the comfort of our perfectly chilled hotel room with our perfectly chilled beer.

But the next day was the day I would be able to mark off # 87 with my yellow highlighter. And a day I would also be able to create a new cliché (see # 12). "God looks out for the getters."

We find ourselves stationed on # 4 –a par 4…at the top of the hill, beneath the trees which have allowed little shade as of yet, a light zephyr, 90+ humidity, 800 degrees, a few slightly famous golfers…one after the other, 2nd shot to the green, and 2 or 3 putting it in. There is not enough water or beer or shade or breeze to make it until the afternoon when we know that Tiger will make his appearance, just yards from our coveted seats. Tiger Woods….I have waited a lifetime (well since at least 1997) to see you in person. #87….you are about to become yellow!

There is no pride when one’s shirt has melted into his and especially her chest. We are all in the same boat, the crowd can’t be stirred with a stick, and no one is giving up their place even in the sun in one of the largest crowds on record. We are in need of refreshments. It becomes agonizingly apparent that Brian is not going to budge, and we have lost Babe and Bear to the shade in the #4 fairway…we can only see them in the distance, and they have the binoculars. Ok…I’ll go make the trek over the hill and through the dale, stand in line to get some water and a couple of beers. I’ve been learning all summer how to hold in my emotions and not always acting like I feel. Maintaining my composure…a thing hard for Geminis. I must admit, I am a little miffed that Brian would actually let me be the one to go get the refreshments..seems kind of like a guy thing to me. But I offer, he accepts, and so I go…literally over the hill, through the dale, sun beating down on my overheated self…and dang if I don’t come upon a bottle neck of a crowd which only irritates me further…why can’t these people just keep walking?
And then I hear those resounding words that change my life…"player coming through". I find myself at the fringe, just as the course clerk cuts me off with his bright yellow rope. I look up to see a shiny new Buick driving slowly behind a tall black fellow sauntering through the parking lot. NO FREAKIN WAY!!…..Tiger Woods, wearing his traditional Sunday red shirt, black pants, perfect body, walks RIGHT.IN.FREAKIN.FRONT.OF.ME. We are so close I could reach out to touch him and believe me, I would have if I hadn’t believed the course clerk would have slapped my hand away. Remember…I’m practicing restraint. He walks; no he sways, to the practice green. One, two, step ball change, three, four…shimmy by…five, six…. and leans his fine self over to sink in a 15-foot putt. I am about to faint, not from heat, but because I have found myself in the presence of greatness. His magic is not a myth. He really REALLY is divination and there are just no words to explain it.
I find myself literally talking out loud, "oh my gosh, I can’t believe it, it’s him, he’s there, he’s right there, it’s really him"….a young boy right in front of me overhears me and says to his dad…"didn’t we see him at the Byron Nelson?" I want to thump the back of his little rich noggin.


This is my moment in time, one I more than likely will not have the chance to repeat. And really why would I want to? I am in the presence of greatness. I am in awe. Tiger Woods is the embodiment of human perfection. He is like a gazelle leaping over a brook even though he’s standing still. I pause and watch him for a few more moments when I remember…. I am on a mission…we are thirsty….get the refreshments…and that’s when my new cliché comes to me.

…."God looks out for the getters" coupled with the words from my new old favorite tune by the very great and very much alive Don Williams…God indeed looks out for the getters and I am indeed livin’ on Tulsa Time!

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